Speaker says life changes
begin within
by Sandy Stamper
south campus news editor

A South Campus counselor last semester challenged students to be true to themselves.
“Self esteem is the core of human existence,” Lilia Covio-Calzada said.
In “Self-Love and Self-Esteem Lead to Self-Empowerment,” part of the counseling center’s College Student Survival Series, Calzada said having a low self-esteem is one of the major roots of all personality problems.
The counselor shared two ways to determine feelings: the AC and ABC methods.
The AC method, according to Calzada, is determining the activating event, which is what happened, and the consequating feeling, which is how people feel.
The ABC method is much like the AC method, Calzada said, but in the middle the student should add belief, which is what he thinks about what happened.
Calzada also explained 10 ways of twisted thinking, including jumping to conclusions, labeling, mental filtering and repeating “should” statements.
Self-concept, according to Calzada, is self-ideal, self-image and self-esteem, the combination of a person’s ideas, thoughts and experiences, as well as how he feels and how much he likes himself.
“Self-esteem is a controlling factor in our performance,” she said.
There is no way, Calzada said, somebody can love someone else more than he loves himself.
Calzada highlighted ways to help people with low self-esteem build a much higher one, but she said people cannot expect this change to come overnight.
If someone is feeling bad about himself, it is always good to use a positive affirmation, Calzada said. To illustrate the concept, she asked everyone present to share such a statement with the group.
Calzada challenged students to take charge of their lives, pointing out the three things one must do in life: be born, live with the consequences of one’s actions and die.
“In any situation, you have four choices: to get out of whatever situation you are in, change the situation, stay in the situation and be miserable or change the way you feel about the situation by changing the way you think about it,” she said.
Calzada can be contacted in the counseling center in the Administration Building on South Campus or at 817-515-4735.