NY Firefighters carry
compassion too far
Shannon Harrison
feature editor

Because of the nature of their jobs, firefighters are considered a tight-knit family. However, some have taken this concept a little too far.
Recently, some New York firefighters have left their wives for widows of 9/11.
When a fire department loses one of its own, the other firefighters help the family for the first week with the funeral, meals, children and companionship. This devotion and assistance I can understand because the families are close, and it is helpful during a time of grieving for a loved one to have support.
However, 9/11 was different. Not just one firefighter died; hundreds lost their lives. Some station houses had 24 firefighters, but only 11 survived. Thus, 11 men and women had to help 13 widows and their families.
With 9/11, bodies were missing for several weeks, so the comfort these families received understandably continued much longer than the normal week.
However, not only did the firefighters help, but counselors also were available for the widows and their children.
On the down side, firefighters were spending less time with their families. Months passed, and some of these men were seldom home. At first, their wives understood, but as time passed, it became harder for them to deal with the situation.
These men were not only giving all their time to the widows, but were escorting them to parties and other events while their wives stayed at home.
So, in the end, some of these men left their wives and families for these widows. In retrospect, instead of one family’s losing a husband, it was two.
These men, some after 17 years of marriage and five children, decided they were in love with the widows they had helped. One man said he fell in love maturely, and it had nothing to do with the events of 9/11.
If 9/11 never happened, I am willing to bet that this mature love would have never happened. So the question is when is enough, enough? I understand these women needed help, and as with any tight-knit family, the firefighters helped each other. But the widows also received professional counseling to help them.
So I ask myself if the fire department should have done something about the amount of time these men helped the women. One woman said that she went to the chief of the firehouse and told him her concerns, yet nothing was done about it. People saw her husband out with this woman all of the time, and yet no one seemed to care.
I know people fall in love, but to start an affair two months after a spouse has died is absurd. These women should have had a longer grieving time. Maybe that would have prevented the destruction of another family. What is sadder is that most of these women were friends with one another, and they lost that too.
9/11 changed lives. But some women who didn’t lose their husbands in the terrorist attack have now lost them to the women who did.