Counselor offers relationship advice
by Fallon Hayes
reporter

   Relationships are a two-way street, a South Campus counselor told students and other attendees at a presentation last week.
   For Women’s History Month, Lilia Covio-Calzada, the facilitator of the Women Well Being Support Group, presented Making Relationships Work in the 21st Century.
   Commitment, trust and care, Calzada said, are important for any good relationship, intimate or casual.
   “ You have to put forth the effort,” she said.
   Calzada explained that commitment is like the foundation for building a house.
   “ If you place walls where there isn’t foundation to support them, they will fall,” she said.
   To even consider being in a relationship, Calzada said, there must be commitment between both partners.
   Caring is a key to a successful relationship, Calzada said.
   “ When you are with a loved one or even a family member, you should make them feel like they are number one,” she said.
   Attendees shared experiences when Calzada asked them what they did to make their loved ones and friends feel good.
   One student said she wrote a poem for a friend. Another said she had given a friend a pedicure to relieve her friend’s stress, and another woman said she e-mails friends.
   Calzada also offered advice on minimizing conflict.
   “ We have the power to interpret. No one controls how we receive messages,” she said.
   According to Calzada, men and women often hear two different things. Another difference, she said, is that men need companionship while women seek intimacy. She referenced a book His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof    Marriage by William F. Harley.
   Calzada said sometimes people use subliminal messages on themselves. Often they reject what they hear from their partners and transform it into something they would rather hear.
   “ Think positive,” she said.
   For more information or counseling, call Calzada at 817-515-4735 or e-mail her at lilia.covio-calzada@tccd.edu.