Homes to protect not to be castles
by Brian Wainstein, Reporter

    A man's home is his castle, but a proper full-blown castle today would require more than a few stones.
    Originally, castles were built for defense and as a self-contained bubble of privacy.
    Proper castles were almost totally self-contained; wells provided water; cattle, orchids and vegetable gardens within the outer walls provided food, and woods provided fuel and materials.
    Of course, castles also depended on the outside world: castle-dwellers required metals for their blacksmiths and taxes to pay servants, but that wasn't a necessity.
    A well-equipped castle could fend off attacking forces and withstand long sieges.
    Unlike the blissfully ignorant lords and ladies of medieval times, we have nuclear weaponry to worry about.
    If a nuclear holocaust is unleashed on our lands, our castles must sustain us.
    Our castle would need the ability to enclose itself completely, but if baseball stadiums can do that, it couldn't be too hard.
    The castle wouldn't be able to use the outside air since it would be radioactive, so it would need air filters.
    The size of a castle would make that job easier. Plants could do it and so could specialized bacteria, as on space shuttles.
    Plants would also provide food; a hydroponics system would be simple, except for water.
    In a worst-case scenario, ground water would be contaminated, so we would need a system to filter out radioactive isotopes.
    We also would need to look at the outside world.
    A satellite uplink could help, but computers and televisions require electricity, as do hydroponics and filtration systems, lights, heating, cooking and other conveniences.
    Generating electricity without access to the outside would require positioning near a river for a hydroelectric plant, in a windy area for wind generators and on an elevated hill for solar power.
    The plant could protect itself by electrifying the outside walls and run electricity underground. Solar panels could be placed on the roof. Wind generators would be hardest to protect, so scratch that option.
    The walls would need to repel invasion-since, as any post-apocalyptic sci-fi fan knows, mutants lust after "juicy man-flesh"-and to protect against radiation.
    Machine gun emplacements and a few anti-personnel grenades could be added.
    This plan would be necessary only if some idiot with a death-wish and hatred of all mankind let off an atomic weapon.
    It might be fun to live in castle, but I prefer living in a world where it isn't needed.