Buyer beware when entering health clubs
by Mary Barrera, south news editor

    That’s right, folks, we have another reason to get all excited about working out.

   Forget about getting into your “swimsuit” figure before summer, fitting into holiday clothes in the winter and keeping the dreaded New Year’s resolution.

   Now President Bush is launching a campaign to influence Americans to lead healthier lives.

   Let me give you two words of caution before you jump in your car and head to the local health club: Don’t go. At least, don’t go unprepared.

   Health clubs are money-making businesses. If you call for membership information, it is not given over the phone. The club rep makes an appointment for you to come in.

   The clubs want you to come into the building and into their clutches so they can bombard you with neon lights, loud music, beautiful people and sales savvy.

   The first several staff members you see when you walk into a health club are salespeople. They are not fitness instructors; they are not personal trainers; they are salespeople trained in high-pressure nonsense.

   Once you are inside the health club, you get your very own salesperson.

   If you act like you would like to join, but you don’t really have the money, you get your own sales manager, to… like when you buy a car.

   The tour usually begins soon after that. This is the part where you act impressed with the gym’s sweat-covered antiquated equipment and grimy facilities.

   You are then put in a small room with no ventilation, knee to knee with the salesperson, to go through the book of membership options. The one they push, of course, is the most expensive, usually named after a precious metal.

   The hard part is trying to leave without signing anything. If it’s the money, they can work out a plan to bleed you dry over a longer period of time. If you want time to think it over, you are then informed that the special membership price is good for that day only. It expires the day you show up, no matter what day it is.

   If you’re not careful, you could sign away $75 a month for the next three years to be drafted from your checking account. You could spend additional thousands on the services of a personal trainer. At the very least, you might spend $40 on name-brand supplements, a bottle of water and an energy bar.

   Once you’re a member, you decide you will work out. After you pass some other helpless souls being sucked in at the front desk, you find that the club is crowded. All the good aerobic machines are taken so you head to the weight machines. The only machines available are the ones only a contortionist could get into.

   You try to go with the flow, getting in line at the bench press behind a heap of muscle named Gunther. You try to finish a workout as smoothly as you can, but let’s face it, you have already decided that joining was a bad idea.

   This is the important part. You cannot get out of your membership agreement after three days. There isn’t enough time for the honeymoon to be over. Once the three days have passed and you are no longer impressed, it is too late. A lot of things can happen to a person in the three years it takes to pay off a membership. The economy has gone bad, people are losing their jobs, and we still have to pay the health clubs. You can call and try to settle, but they just threaten to ruin your credit.

   It’s easier to get out of a lease at an apartment complex than it is to try to get out from under a membership at a health club. One way to get out is to have a doctor sign a paper that he does not want you to exercise. Good luck with that.

   If you look beyond the marketing schemes, you can see lots of places to exercise. You can go to the park and walk, go to a high school and run on the track, go to the city recreation centers and pools or get up early and walk in your neighborhood. TCC has a lot of exercise equipment, and you get to work out with other students.

   Don’t join a health club unless you really plan on using it and liking it for the next few years. Save your $75 a month for that graduation trip to the Caymans.