Election results leave hopes dim for future
by Chris Taylor, editor-in-chief

     Some years start out with a bang. Other years start out with a thud. This year, however, appears to be starting out with the razzing sound of a whoopee cushion. I say this only because George W. Bush is our new president.

     All I can say is that we are all truly doomed. Bush is not qualified to watch over an ant farm, much less the United States. Before anyone starts telling me how he has done such a wonderful job as the Governor of Texas, that’s not entirely true. He hasn’t done much of a job at all. Granted, that’s not all his fault, but in terms of power, the governor of Texas is the weakest in the country. He went from being the least powerful governor in the United States to the most powerful man in the world rather quickly.
In other words, he went from driving a late model, green Pinto with a blue door to a brand new Cadillac with power windows, doors, locks and an anti-theft system.

     My hope is that Bush isn’t really as stupid as he appears on television and that he just makes minor mistakes based on the pressure of doing so many interviews. Of course, if he really is that ignorant, I hope his cabinet will remind him that IRA agents do not collect taxes or enforce tax laws.

     We have a pretty good country; the last thing we need around here is the Irish Republican Army.

     To be honest, I don’t like George W. He comes off as a smarmy, used-car salesman, frat boy to me.

     This does not mean that I’m a Gore supporter. I don’t care much for career politicians like Gore.

     I felt as though I didn’t have much of a choice in this election. It was basically the choice between having my eyes gouged out with a sharp stick or ingesting broken glass. That’s not much of a choice!

     And then there was Ralph Nader, whom I liked, but who didn’t have a pregnant chad’s chance in Florida of becoming president. It also didn’t help that he didn’t want anyone making more than a $100,000 a year.

     This kind of situation will probably be the norm for a few more elections until we demand the same kind of qualities in a president that we seem to look for in a head football coach.