Domestic violence theme of workshop
by Michael Villarreal, reporter

    NW Campus students got a wake up call last week during an educational workshop on domestic violence.

   “It thrives in silence,” Susie Soto, academic advisor, said about domestic violence.

   One out of two women will be abused at some point in their life, Soto said.

   Ninety-five percent of domestic violence victims are women and children, Soto said.

   “There was this one time back in school when one of my classmate’s lost her mother and stepfather to domestic violence. He shot her mother and then turned the gun on himself,” she said.

  Soto once worked at a women’s prison as a summer intern.

   The majority of the women there had experienced some form of abuse, whether from a spouse/boyfriend or as a child.

   “When I was doing the research on this program, it was amazing just to see the number of women who came to me and shared their experiences,” she said.

   Domestic violence knows no social, economic, racial or religious boundaries.

   “This is one of the biggest killers that is not taken very seriously,” she said.

   “We call it an unrecognized killer because this crime happens behind closed doors, and most women are either too scared or ashamed to talk about it,” she said.

   “We must open our eyes to what is going on out there,” she said.

   Fifty percent of all homeless women nationally are on the streets because of violence in their homes.

   “Right now as we speak every 18 seconds an act of violence is committed. Six million American women are beaten each year by their husband or boyfriend,” she said.

   In most domestic violence cases, the abuser has a control issue.

   “You hear more cases of date rape and things of that nature going on in the schools,” she said.

   “Women are more likely to be assaulted by a male partner than by a stranger on the street,” the academic advisor said.

   Approximately one-third of the men counseled for battering are well respected in their jobs and communities as doctors, lawyers, ministers, psychologists and executives.

   Common techniques that are used by batterers include intimidation, isolation, threats, emotional abuse and economics.

   Some triggers of domestic violence include: pregnancy, holidays, unemployment and substance abuse.

   Battered women go through what is called a cycle of violence, Soto said.

   That cycle usually begins with the abuser’s showing unusual loving behavior after a long courtship.

   Next, an acute battering incident will occur, such as verbal threats, slapping, hitting or even sexual abuse.

   Afterwards, there almost always is an absence of tension, with the abuser apologizing profusely saying, “it will never happen again,” Soto said.

   The violence increases as each cycle is repeated.

   Without some kind of help the end result can be death.

   Soto pointed out things to look for if one should suspect a friend or family member is being battered: depressive symptoms, suicidal ideation and unexplained traumatic injury.

   Acts of violence not only inflict physical injury, Soto said, but also have the potential to destroy a person’s foundations of trust and safety.

   “The shelters for battered women resemble forest fires. More and more women keep going in; they never stop. Coincidentally, there are more animal shelters than there are women’s shelters,” she said.

   Soto believes TCC students are not immune to the domestic abuse.

   “I know it’s happening to students on our campuses,” she said.

   “I just want them to feel comfortable enough to talk to one of our counselors so that we can empower them and give them the resources they need,” she said.

   Instead of asking the why a woman doesn’t leave, people should be asking why men batter, Soto said.