FAO Schwarz wrestles toys from shelves
by Chris Taylor, editor-in-chief

    Nothing irritates me more than seeing my freedoms taken away or having morals dictated to me. This is why certain stores have landed on my “enemies list” lately.

    FAO Schwarz has decided that wrestling is too violent and pornographic to carry wrestling products in its stores. FAO Schwarz, a large toy-store company, mostly found up north, has decided to remove all wrestling toys from its shelves.

    Who are the chief executives to make that decision for the rest of us?

    I don’t like wrestling. Can’t stand it one bit. I’d have a very hard time finding anything even remotely redeeming about it, but I really don’t think it’s my place to restrict other people’s watching it or buying the products.

    This doesn’t seem like a big deal? Well, read on. Target and Wal-Mart are well-known stores. They also carry toys. Currently on the market are toys based on The Simpsons television show.

    The figures depict favorite characters from the television show, including Bart, Homer, Marge and all kinds of other characters.

    Target and Wal-Mart have taken upon themselves to not carry a particular one. That banned figure is Smithers. Why won’t they carry him?

    On the television show, the running joke is that Smithers may or may not be gay. He certainly fits all the stereotypes. The department store giants have decided that they will not promote Smithers’ alternative lifestyle.

    They have no problem carrying the drunken, beer-swilling Barney Gumble figure from The Simpsons, but they sure aren’t going to allow children to be infected by homosexuals.

    I would really like to thank Wal-Mart and Target. While they are out there protecting me from what they have decided are evil influences, I now have some free time since I apparently don’t need to think for myself anymore.

    People are going to say that I can still go and find a Smithers at another store and, thus, still have freedom of choice. Maybe, but why can’t these two stores carry the products that people want without making decisions for them?

    What they are doing is forcing their family-oriented morals on everyone else. I’d like to know who put them in charge of family morals.