Jeepers Creepers, this film’s no keeper
by Michael Kraft, entertainment editor

    This part of the movie season is definitely in a lull.

    It happens every year, that time between the summer popcorn fare, but before the fall Oscar winners are released.

    Theaters are generally filled with dreck that will be around for a few weeks and then forgotten. Thrown, thankfully, into the dustbin of mediocre movie history.

    Jeepers Creepers is definitely one of the above.

    The horror film had a surprisingly good first third, but fell apart into clichés and formula.

    The film opens with the two heroes driving down a road in the middle of nowhere, presumably coming home from college on spring break.

    The two characters are Trish, played by Gina Philips, and her younger and exponentially more stupid brother, Darry, played by Justin Long.

    The two actors actually have a very good chemistry and seem to have a real brother/sister type bond that adds a level of reality to the inane and silly dialogue.

    Soon after passing an RV, the characters are hounded by a rusty, aggressively driven, scary looking 1947 Chevrolet Cab-Over-Engine (COE) truck.

    The truck seems to be a character in itself. After passing the two kids (who are driving a 1960 Chevrolet Impala, by the way. Did Chevy put money in the movie or what?), the maniac goes on his way and the kids sigh in relief.

    Soon thereafter, Darry and Trish drive by an old, abandoned church and see the COE parked out front.

    A tall figure wearing the large hat and distinctive cloak of a 1600s religious inquisitor is dumping what appears to be bodies wrapped in sheets down a large corrugated pipe. This is one of the most ominous shots in the film as it has the audience wondering who or what the figure is. Is it human, is it not, did it see the characters? It obviously did, as it gives pursuit and overtakes the Impala at probably double the car’s speed, which had to be 70+ mph.

    After running them off the road, the mysterious figure drives off, and the adventure begins.

    Darry suggests that they go back and investigate what they saw and try to see if they can help anybody that may still be alive.

    Trish is not going for it and pleads that they go on their way. He insists, being the stupid one after all, and she relents, thus starting a chain reaction that keeps the film going for 90 excruciating minutes.

    The film is very well set-up. After they go back to the church and discover the true meaning of the pipe, they go to an all-night diner and phone the police. So far, so good.

    The diner is very creepy and the patrons make it feel like the Twilight Zone.

    After a bizarre phone call from a stranger warning them to be wary of the old song Jeepers Creepers, the police show up and are very skeptical, until the Impala is broken into and their clothes are scattered on the ground after someone was “sniffing them.”

    The police start escorting them down the road when the bad guy attacks the police through the roof of their Caprice (another Chevy). Here, the first third ends and the film starts downhill.

    Finally, after all the interesting setup and spooky shots, we get to see the monster, but seeing it blows a lot of the scariness the monster had. Another flesh-eating monster ... whoopdy-do.

    The rest of the film gets worse and worse, with too many clichés closer to the end. For instance, a psychic character is introduced. She runs into our heroes at a police station and tries to tell all, but the scene is contrived and silly as she answers no questions really.

    I hate spoilers, so I won’t give out the ending, except to say that it was terrible, sadly lacking, anti-climactic and abrupt.

    The film ends with the feeling of a truck slamming into a brick wall; you think there is more, but it just comes to a screeching, crashing halt with no good resolution.

    The characters make stupid decisions that had everyone in the theater pulling their hair out in frustration and talking to the screen. After a while I was actually wishing the beast would just eat them to put an end their stupidity, especially during the “standoff” between the bad guy and the kids in the Impala.

    The worst part is that Francis Ford Coppola put his name on this as executive producer.

    How could the man who brought us the Godfather trilogy be associated with something like this?

    If you want good Coppola, go rent Apocalypse Now.

    It won’t get you the hour and a half of your life back, but you’ll sure feel better about where your money went.