Jury still out on Reagan contributions
by Chris Taylor, editor-in-chief

    A group of very odd people have come up with a plan to immortalize former President Ronald Reagan.

    This group’s goal is to have something named after Reagan in every county in the United States. They also want to put his face on Mount Rushmore and the $10 bill. Reagan just had an aircraft carrier named after him, also. How appropriate. Reagan spent more money on military than any president ever.

    Thanks to his unprecedented eight-year military build-up, we now have an enormous debt.

    But getting beyond all that, why are these people trying to memorialize him now? At the very least, we should wait until Reagan is dead.

    Of course, the best idea would be to wait until he’s been dead for about a hundred years and let history judge his legacy.

    These people probably know that history will not be kind. A lot of people are under the impression that he ended communism. Not exactly. There were many contributing factors before him, such as the Marshall Plan.

    But Reagan somehow gets credit. To put it into a sports analogy, Reagan was like a basketball player who makes a basket at the final buzzer in a game the team was already winning by 20 points.

    He was a popular president, but does that make him a good president.

    If people want to do something in his honor, why not bury him with Bonzo the monkey. This idea makes perfect sense. He co-starred with a monkey in the movies and had one as his vice president.

    That would be the perfect tribute to a man who couldn’t decide whether he wanted to be a cowboy or an actor. As president, he got to do both.

    And why is it that ending communism is such a good thing? During the Cold War, we could always count on some anti-communist propaganda.

    Would Rocky IV have been as good a movie without the commie villain? Probably not?

    We would have missed out on many propaganda movies like Red Dawn, Top Gun and all the James Bond films.

    The Bond movies just haven’t been the same without the evil commies as villains. Now we get break-away Russian republics and entertainment moguls.

    I miss communism.