Editor kicking all the way into ‘old age’
by Chris Taylor, editor-in-chief

    One of the greatest secrets in the history of the universe has gotten out. This secret is bigger than Roswell, nuclear power and the exact contents of a Twinkie.

    Somebody blabbed about what date my birthday is on. It may not sound that bad, but I’m getting old. I have always been able to keep people guessing as to how old I am. I was also able to celebrate my birthday in relative anonymity. Well, that’s all changed now.

    One reason I hate my birthday is because I’m not getting old gracefully. Kicking and screaming is more like it.

    And for whatever reason, people like to make a big deal out of birthdays. If I had any milestones to look forward to, that would be one thing, but I have passed all the ones I wanted to pass.

    Being around all the young people here at TCC makes me feel even older. I get the distinction of coming from a time when Bunkers and Jeffersons strode the Earth. Some people I’m in class with were born the same year that Return of the Jedi came out.

    Since I saw that movie in the theater when it came out, that just makes me even more depressed.

    People will tell you that growing old is a good thing and that with age comes respect. I got old and acquired the nickname Eeyore.

    Eeyore is the grumpy, chronically depressed and possibly bipolar donkey from Winnie the Pooh. There’s the respect.
    At least the good news is that for my birthday I’m going to bet on some horses and indulge in some other activities, which I’m sure the Bible strictly forbids.

    I’m also going to spend some time playing some video games. I may be old, but I’m a big kid at heart. I’ve found that there is no greater joy in life than piloting a giant robot that can level entire neighborhoods with the push of a button.

    It’s also fun to blow flesh-eating zombies to smithereens in the comfort of my own home. It may not be educational, but it sure beats Asteroids.

    So now that I’m two steps away from the grave, I figured I would share some of the wisdom I’ve learned over the years.

    Friends, family and religion. You must slay these demons to be successful. How are you ever going to be a success if you are wasting your time at a wedding, or at home, or in a church or synagogue?