Do programs unite church, government?
by Chris Taylor, editor-in-chief

    George Bush’s introduction of faith-based programs got me thinking. First, aren’t church and state supposed to be separated?

    If they aren’t, I suggest that the state file a restraining order against religion, requiring it to stay at least 500 feet away from all forms of government.

    What really bothers me most about these programs is that it’s always Republicans who come up with these religious-based government policies.

    When did the Republican Party become the Christian party? The Republicans traditionally are supposed to be for less government, yet they want to restrict abortions and require the Ten Commandments in schools. That sounds like more government to me.

    Why are the Republicans charged with converting everyone to Christianity?

    Do these people honestly think that Jesus would have been a Republican? He had long hair and wild ideas. He also was a champion for the poor and common man. These causes are definitely not high on the Republican’s agenda.

    Jesus would probably be against the death penalty since he was crucified. Such an objection would be against the Republican platform.

    I can definitely say that Jesus would never vote Republican. And, of course, he would be ashamed of the Republicans who tout their religious beliefs and attempt to ram them down the throats of the heathens while openly defying those very same rules.

    Has everyone forgotten why Newt Gingrich resigned? He was committing adultery. Why did he get hit so hard with bad press? Because he, like most Republicans, was preaching family values to the uneducated, morally corrupt masses while his wife wondered whose bed he was sleeping in that night.

    Republicans wondered why the people liked Clinton more after the Lewinsky affair. It’s because he didn’t act holier than thou. He was a used-car salesman, and everyone knew it.

    When people talk about Clinton being a liar, that’s just ridiculous. He’s a politician. Of course, he is a liar. He was elected to two terms; he was the best liar.

    The people voted for a snake, probably, because he was honest about being a snake.