Columbia hoping to stomp out arachnophobia with Spider Man
by Ashley Clark, reporter

    The cinema summer line up includes something for almost every type of movie fan. Thankfully, moviemakers have spared us the heavy dramas, tearjerkers and deep, thought-provoking artistic creations this summer.

May

   May starts off with the heavily plugged and highly anticipated comic book action-adventure, Spider-Man. The release marks the 40th anniversary of the web-slinger’s first appearance in a comic book.

   Like Batman before it, the film is likely to turn into a costume parade for audiences of who’s playing whom. Wonder no more.

   Tobey Maguire will play student Peter Parker who, after being bitten by a genetically altered spider, gains superhuman strength and the spider-like ability to cling to any surface.

   Spider-Man also stars Willem Dafoe as Spider-Man’s nemesis, the Green Goblin, Kirsten Dunst as Mary Jane Watson, James Franco as Peter’s pal Harry Osborn, Cliff Robertson as Uncle Ben, Rosemary Harris as Aunt May and J.K. Simmons as Jonah Jameson, Peter’s boss at the Daily Bugle.

   The film opens Friday and is rated PG-13.

   ESPN’s Ultimate X, opening May 10, is an action documentary about ESPN’s popular Summer X Games. The film chronicles highlights and dramatic stories behind the 2001 X Games in Philadelphia. Skateboarding, biking, moto X and street luge competitions will be seen exclusively in IMAX theatres for the first time.

   For many, May 16 means two words: Star Wars. Those who were less than thrilled with Episode I - The Phantom Menace, a modest prologue to the Anakin fable, should be pleased when Episode II - Attack of the Clones promises to deliver the real story.

   This time Anakin, the man with superior skills and high ambitions, is 20 years old and under the tutelage of his mentor, Obi-Wan Kenobi, played by Ewan McGregor.

   George Lucas made a few changes to reflect the times. Yoda is no longer a Henson-esque man-manipulated puppet, but a fully computer animated creation.
   What’s more, Clones has somewhat of a softer side as Anakin’s stern training forbids any romantic involvement making it more interesting when he risks his status in the Jedi Order by pursuing a reckless passion for Senator Padme Amidala, played by Natalie Portman.

   The romantic element may actually extend the audience from 12-year-old boys (and the 12-year-old boys-at-heart) to 15-year-old girls. With no luxury ships cruising around ready to smash into icebergs, Episode II should reel in a bigger audience.

   A dreadful thought just occurred. Bigger audience usually means more box office profit. More profit will probably send Lucas on a production spree and there will be an Episode III in the future—or in the past as it were.

   Enough, a thriller staring Jennifer Lopez and Billy Campbell, will open May 24.

   Working class waitress Slim (Lopez) finds her life transformed when she marries wealthy contractor Mitch (Campbell). She settles into an idyllic suburban life and seems to have everything she wants: loving husband, beautiful home and Gracie, an adorable 5-year-old daughter.

   Her dream is shattered when Mitch becomes abusive, forcing her to go on the run.

   Increasingly obsessive Mitch and his lethal henchmen start their hunt, threatening Slim. Slim hides the daughter and consumes her life with mentally and physically toughening up in order to prove to psycho hubby that she’s had Enough.

   Writer Nicholas Kazan probably figured 11 years was long enough to forget about the Julia Roberts flick, Sleeping With the Enemy.
June

   Academy Award-winner Anthony Hopkins and Chris Rock team up June 7 in the action-thriller Bad Company. Hopkins portrays a veteran CIA agent who must transform sarcastic, street-wise punk Jake Hayes (Rock) into a sophisticated and savvy spy to replace his murdered identical twin brother in nine days.

   Disney has run out of classic fairy tales to adapt and has created an offbeat, imaginative, animated comedy Lilo and Stitch.

   Lilo is a lonely Hawaiian girl who adopts what she believes is a small, ugly dog named Stitch. Interestingly, Stitch is not actually a dog, but a genetic experiment that has escaped from an alien planet and crash-landed on Earth. This is not actually a movie, but a throwaway idea found at the bottom of the boardroom wastebasket that has crash-landed in the “approved” box.

   Almost any idea can be justified in a Disney film as long as the plot includes Good Guy helping to unlock Bitter and Misunderstood Guy’s (there are no “bad” guys in Disney films) heart to give him the one thing he was never designed to have—the ability to care for someone else. Say it with me now, “ahhh …”

   Lilo and Stitch opens with its lush tropical setting, unique sense of humor and classic songs by Elvis Presley on June 21.

   Mr. Deeds, staring Adam Sandler and Winona Ryder, rated PG-13, opens June 28.

July

   They had to do it. They just had to. Columbia Pictures has gone and made a sequel. Men In Black II will open everywhere July 3.

   It’s been four years since alien-seeking agents K and J averted an intergalactic disaster of epic proportions. K, played by Tommy Lee Jones, has since returned to the comforts of civilian life while J, played by Will Smith, continues to work for the Men In Black, the highly funded yet unofficial government agency that regulates all things alien on earth.

   While investigating a seemingly routine crime, J uncovers a diabolical plot masterminded by Serleena, played by Lara Flynn Boyle, an evil Kylothian monster who disguises herself as a sexy lingerie model. When Serleena takes the entire MIB building hostage, there is only one person left J can turn to—his former MIB partner, who is now a drone in another large government office, the U.S. postal service, and prefers simple pleasures like his wife’s cookies over standoffs with mammoth alien insects.

   It’s a race against the clock as J must convince K—who not only has absolutely no memory of his time spent with the Men In Black, but is also the only living person left with the expertise to save the galaxy—to reunite with the MIB before the earth submits to ultimate destruction.

   I have no response to that. Neither does the MPAA as this film is not yet rated.

   Big names for little voices should be the theme for the family comedy, Stuart Little 2 opening July 19.

   Michael J. Fox returns as the voice of plucky, pint-sized hero Stuart Little who will delight audiences with his big heart and even more action-packed adventure.

   This time Stuart must journey through the city with a reluctant Snowbell, voiced by Nathan Lane, to rescue a new friend, Margalo, voiced by Melanie Griffith, from a villainous Falcon, voiced by James Woods.

   Geena Davis, Hugh Laurie and Jonathan Lipnicki (Stuart Little originals) return for the sequel as Mrs. Little, Mr. Little and George Little, respectively.

   Reign of Fire, staring Matthew McConaughey and Christian Bale opens July 12.

August

   Mel Gibson stars in the creepy, creative and wanna-be-Stephen-King film, Signs, opening Aug. 2.

   Everything that farmer Graham Hess assumed about the world is changed when he discovers a message of an intricate pattern of circles and lines carved into his crops. He investigates the unfolding mystery, and what he finds forever alters the lives of his brother and children.

   Signs is a unique story that explores the mysterious real-life phenomena of crop signs and the effects they have on one man and his family. However, it does not feature Rory Culkin uttering the line “I see farm people.”

   XXX, an action-adventure staring Vin Diesel and Samuel L. Jackson, opens August 2.

   The Master of Disguise, a comedy written by and staring Dana Carvey, will open Aug. 16.