Sports sink to new low with eBay

    (KRT) MIAMI—If the chewed, discarded gum of baseball player Luis Gonzalez can fetch thousands from lunatic bidders on eBay, we can only surmise that star athletes—struck by paranoia and anticipating the logical next step in memorabilia—will begin to post armed guards outside their bathroom stalls.

   All boundaries that once governed collectibles have disappeared.

   One can only imagine the riches that might be accrued by purloining and then auctioning the expectorant of a Cliff Floyd.

   Collectors who once had no bigger challenge than deciding whether a card was in mint condition might soon grapple with the value differential of standard (what we call Classic) spit or the more preferred, fecal-colored tobacco stream.

   I suspect a splat of fluey phlegm will trump all. But that's just me.

   People who haunt eBay are scary. I suspect I would draw serious bids by posting for sale the following item:

   “Fetid Sock Worn by Former Amateur Golfer.”

   It boggles the mind.