Tragedy leads to newly found strengths
by Maria Carter, reporter

    At some point in our lives, we all experience a tragedy. Once that happens, how we handle it is what is most important.

    In spite of my strongest efforts, life has managed to go on although tragedy has changed every aspect of my life.

    When my family and I celebrated my son’s 21st birthday May, 8, 1999, little did we know it was to be his last.

    Eleven days later, Jesse drowned in a swimming accident at Eagle Mountain Lake.

    I had always thought that giving birth was the hardest thing I would ever have to do.

    That May I discovered I was wrong. Burying my son was the most difficult experience I have ever faced.

    As I stood by the lake where he drowned, I looked up and asked God to give me strength.

    Not knowing where to turn or even how to grieve, I asked for help. Through counseling I learned there are several stages in the grieving process: denial, depression, anger, grief and finally acceptance.

    I allow myself to feel every emotion and try to recognize them for what they are.

    My strength has come in many forms. For instance, the church continues to provide spiritual guidance.

    “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose,” Romans 8:28, has been one source of strength for me.

    Family and friends also have been a great source of strength and encouragement.

    I had lived in the same house for seven years, but never realized how many friends I had in the neighborhood. Every morning for two or three weeks when I opened my front door, I found a gift: baskets of food, freshly picked flowers, a watermelon or a neighbor offering support.

    However, the best gift they ever gave me was finishing a coffee table that Jesse had started for me.

    Staying busy is another way I cope with grief.

    I work two days a week and attend TCC three days a week. I am a returning student, wife and mother of two daughters. My oldest is Monica, age 18. Ali is 5, and our granddaughter, Meredith, is 2.

    My family and I have a very hectic schedule just trying to balance things.

    I have discovered that life has many simple pleasures, so I enjoy them. I always try to look for the good in everything around me.

    For me, music has been a powerful instrument in the healing process. There are little tunes, melodies and lyrics that tell stories of anger, sadness, love and triumph.

    Music has an amazing ability to bring out our feelings and mark a part of our lives never to be forgotten.

    I consider it a privilege to be a college student. I am not sure where it will take me in terms of a career, but I will enjoy the journey.

    Although I will never look into my son’s kind brown eyes or hear his soft-spoken voice again, I will reflect on the kind of sweet compassionate young man he was.

    My son Jesse will forever be a part of who I am.