Biker Boyz - sweet band of riders
by Brian Abrams, Reporter

   Biker Boyz passes with flying colors-that is, if you want to see a homoerotic fantasy starring Denzel Washington's sailor boy Derek Luke (Antwone Fisher).

   You'll never meet a sweeter band of riders.

   Gang members flaunt their crayon yellow embroidered jackets and snug leather pants while displaying even more colorful attitudes.

   Grown men spread eagle at one another along the freeway on their flashy turquoise motorcycles.

   Luke sports a sleeveless muscle tee sprinkled in glitter.

   The DreamWorks' costume department must have mistakenly borrowed the outfits from American Idol for this overly dressed drama.

   Smoke (Laurence Fishburne) serves as prezident of the Black Knights, a soulful motorcycle gang wrecking havoc in Northern California.

   Smoke holds his crown above all other heavies of any bike club, as "King of Cali."

   Then, one day, pretty boy Kid (Luke) comes along to disrespect Smoke by starting the title club.

   Kid never lifts a finger in the whole flick. He doesn't work part time stripping at Le Bare's or engaging in any other fitting vocation.

   I can only imagine his crew's matching apparel was provided courtesy of some distant cousin's trust fund.

   For that matter, none of the bikers work; they cannot all make good money from strutting around to boy band tracks.

   Maybe they play the stock market in edited scenes?

   Kid Rock, however, gets some credit.

   Besides being the only cast member who looked the part of a seedy underworld biker, he didn't bother acting.

   His natural sleaziness performs well enough, and he is the sole relief in the disaster.

   Sadly enough, writer/director Reggie Rock Bythewood sincerely believes in this garbage.

   "I love westerns, and the opportunity to take these guys who are really cool and street-smart and portray them as modern-day cowboys ... I just had to make this film," the director said.

   Try again, Bythewood.

   I can't find much of a western, but you may have recreated something more reminiscent of Grease 2.