Film delivers us from fun
by Brian Abrams, Reporter

   Add Deliver Us from Eva to the movie junk pile.

   Just possibly, this film could be at the top of the large heap with little argument from this film reviewer.

   In recent years, many film studios have released an overage of rotten movies as mere vehicles for overrated pop stars who couldn't act at gunpoint.

   Jeopardy could add a new category to its show: Films for the untalented actors.

   Studio TV ads alone are red flags, such as Cool as Ice (Vanilla Ice), Posse (Big Daddy Kane), Exit Wounds (DMX) and The Body-guard (Whitney Houston).

   Of course, we cannot forget, although we would like to, 2002's worst of the entire year 8 Mile (Eminem).

   The eyestrains mentioned above are not really movies.

   These films are products and most likely accessorize themselves with a Chipotle burger at Chili's on a lukewarm second date.

   Please don't misunderstand: dinner and a movie is a classy move, but for Pete's sake, pick a film with some substance.

   That film selection could make even the most lukewarm date more palatable

   In Deliver Us from Eva, we find three gorgeous, prissy prudes (who spend seven scenes in a beauty parlor) having their lives overrun by their wench of an older sister Eva (Gabriella Union).

   But wait, the prudes seem to like it.

   Their moronic husbands feel victimized by Eva's antics and are too incompetent to handle their personal lives.

   So, they call upon playa-playa L.L. Cool J to lure Eva away from their business and into romance for $5,000. Naturally, L.L. mistakenly falls in love with Eva and blah, blah, blah.

   Fill in the blanks with the obvious, and you have seen the movie, unless of course the ladies can make it for the finale with L.L. all chained up with no pants on (boxer shorts, yes).

   For those singles-serving that horrifying, obligated window of time before the comfort level sinks in-who cannot watch something decent and meaningful, go rent Lovely and Amazing instead and sit on opposite sides of the couch.

   At least your money won't be wasted.